RE: gifts and coercion

["Lucy Zoe" <lucyzoe@moscow.com>]

Title: Message

When did parents stop being accountable for the actions of their children? At what age do they cease to be the result of a parent's production? Parents boldly proclaim affiliation when their offspring does something acceptable, but are quick to sever responsibilities when actions are questionable.

 

Why is it so reprehensible to say that a child's actions may be a direct result of a parent's lack of success in an area of parenting? We link parental behavior to physical abuse and alcoholism in offspring, so why not other behaviors? Our parents are our first teachers. We model their behavior and we learn. And then many people spend the rest of their lives fighting to erase learned behaviors and create new ones.

 

Somehow it's easier to say, "That's my son, he's a doctor, teacher, good father, writer, etc.," then it is to say, "That's my son, he's a convict, child molester, can't hold a job, abandoned his wife and children, etc."  We learn a multitude of things from our parents by just observing them. I would venture to say that most of what we learn is unspoken.

 

So again...why aren't fathers responsible for their daughters? When those women showed their breasts to earn money...where were their parents? Do you you really believe it doesn't matter? If what parents teach doesn't matter and their behavior is insignificant, then who is responsible for raising productive members of society?

 

More importantly, why all the outrage when a *father* speaks out and suggests that fathers should be *more* responsible for the actions of their children? I find it totally absurd that anyone would come unglued by such a suggestion. If not the parents...then who is teaching our children?

 

Lucy Zoe