This one is not a HOAX!

[Peggy Adams <padams@oxy.edu>]

Occasionally, on this list. we get warnings about computer viruses.  This
usually inspires a flurry of emails regarding virus hoaxes.  I thought the
following was particularly inspired.

P



>If you receive an E-Mail with a subject line of "Badtimes,"
>delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it.
>
>This is the MOST DANGEROUS EMAIL virus yet.
>
>It will re-write your hard drive.  Not only that, but it will
>scramble any disks that are even close to your computer.  It will
>recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice
>cream melts and your milk curdles.  It will demagnetize the
>strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code,
>screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field
>harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.  It will give your
>ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number.  It will mix antifreeze
>into your fish tank.  It will drink all your beer and leave its
>dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over.
>It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and
>interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static while
>stuck in traffic.
>
>Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened pedophile.
>It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.  It will
>replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all
>while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and
>billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.  It will seduce
>your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead.  Such is the
>power of Badtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those
>things we hold most dear.  Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm
>disease.
>
>It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hair dryer plugged
>in dangerously close to a full bathtub.  It will wantonly remove
>the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, and refill
>your skim milk with whole.  It is insidious and subtle. It is
>dangerous and terrifying to behold.  It is also a rather
>interesting shade of mauve.
>
>These are just a few signs.  Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.
>
>
Peggy Adams
Project Director
Farm to School Program
UEPI
1600 Campus Road
Los Angeles, CA  90041
323.259.1450
323.259.2734 (fax)