Re: Civility

["Dan Carscallen" <predator75@moscow.com>]

Melynda says:

 

"We are responsible to each other for keeping this list productive, interesting, and helpful in building a better community."

 

Heck, I find it all somewhat interesting, though rarely productive, but sometimes helpful.  But aren't all debates that way?

 

-----Original Message-----
From: Melynda Huskey <mghuskey@hotmail.com>
To: vision2020@moscow.com <vision2020@moscow.com>
Date: Monday, September 09, 2002 8:59 AM
Subject: Civility

Sometimes the best way to help discussants 
observe the common courtesies and 
treat others respectfully is to ignore 
them until they are able to meet the 
community standards.  This 
approach is particularly effective for those who 
eagerly seek out 
opportunities to call names or behave derisively, since 
it's the attention 
and excitement they receive that drives the behavior.  
The validation 
that comes with a reasoned argument should be withheld from 
those who only 
want to call attention to themselves, bully others, and 
generally act the 
tin-pot god of the playground.  Of course, the behavior 
will escalate 
for a short period before it's extinguished, as more and more 
outrageous 
attempts are made to command attention--but with patience and 
understanding, 
we can weather that period and reach a more adult level of 
discussion.

I've found this strategy very effective with my 
two-year-old when he whines 
or bullies, and I'd like to recommend it to the 
list membership generally.  

Melynda 
Huskey

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