Civility

["Melynda Huskey" <mghuskey@hotmail.com>]

Sometimes the best way to help discussants observe the common courtesies and 
treat others respectfully is to ignore them until they are able to meet the 
community standards.  This approach is particularly effective for those who 
eagerly seek out opportunities to call names or behave derisively, since 
it's the attention and excitement they receive that drives the behavior.  
The validation that comes with a reasoned argument should be withheld from 
those who only want to call attention to themselves, bully others, and 
generally act the tin-pot god of the playground.  Of course, the behavior 
will escalate for a short period before it's extinguished, as more and more 
outrageous attempts are made to command attention--but with patience and 
understanding, we can weather that period and reach a more adult level of 
discussion.

I've found this strategy very effective with my two-year-old when he whines 
or bullies, and I'd like to recommend it to the list membership generally.  
We are responsible to each other for keeping this list productive, 
interesting, and helpful in building a better community.

Melynda Huskey

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