some more political humor!!

["Shahab Mesbah" <meteor2@moscow.com>]

> Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
>
> VICE PRESIDENT GORE
> I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right
> now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will
> fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them.
>
> GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH
> I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say
> give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government
> needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the
> road.
>
> SENATOR LIEBERMAN
> I believe that every chicken has the right to worship his or her God
> in his or her own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and
> no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in his or her
> own way.
>
> SECRETARY CHENEY
> Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they
> wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need
> help crossing the road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the
> road myself.
>
> RALPH NADER
> Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tire
> makers. Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tire makers to
> create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into
> believing there is an advantage to crossing them. Down with the
> roads, up with chickens.
>
> PAT BUCHANAN
> To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
>
> JERRY FALWELL
> Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see
> the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
> "other side." That's what "they" call it - the "other side." Yes, my
> friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
> become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
> abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly
> harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be
> free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.
>
> DR. SEUSS
> Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The
> chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
>
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY
> To die. In the rain.
>
> MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
> I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross without
> having their motives called into question.
>
> GRANDPA
> In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
> told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough
> for us.
>
> ARISTOTLE
> It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>
> KARL MARX
> It was a historical inevitability.
>
> SADDAM HUSSEIN
> This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified
> in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
>
> CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
> To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
>
> FOX MULDER
> You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens
> have to cross before you believe it?
>
> FREUD
> The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
> road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
>
> BILL GATES
> I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads,
> but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
> checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of a
> Chicken.
>
> EINSTEIN
> Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
>
> BILL CLINTON
> I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
> "chicken"? Could you define "chicken" please?
>
> COLONEL SANDERS
> I missed one?
>