Debate and Dialogue

["Melynda Huskey" <mghuskey@hotmail.com>]

As I slowly recover from a surprise bout of strep throat, I see that the 
list is heating up again--and in a rather predictable and discouraging way.  
The same accusations, the same rhetorical questions, the verbal flourishing 
and philosophical sparring . . . even some paragraphs and posts are being 
recycled.

At the risk of seeming really naive, may I suggest that we consider trying 
something different?  Could we move away from debate toward dialogue?

The difference between the two has been summarized this way by Daniel 
Yankelovitch:

In debate, we assume that there is a right anwer--ours.  In dialogue, we 
assume that many people have pieces of the answer and that we can craft a 
solution together.

In debate, we are combative; in dialogue, we are collaborative.

In debate, we listen to find flaws and weaknesses; in dialogue we listen to 
understand, to find meaning and potential agreement.

In debate, we defend our own views against others'; in dialogue, we see that 
others have ideas that can improve our own.

In debate, we search for flaws in others' positions; in dialogue, we search 
for strengths and value in others' positions.

Dialogue is also different from discussion, in that it requires that 
participants meet each other as equals, in the absence of coercive 
influences, that we listen to one another with unreserved empathy, and we 
bring assumptions into the open--our own and each others'.

So let me begin by saying that like Doug Jones, I value honesty in public 
associations and groups, and in individuals.  Can you help me understand, 
Doug, why the Moscow Civic Association has raised your hackles--to the 
extent that you would compare it to a Nazi organization in 1936?  You 
mentioned (or maybe it was Doug Wilson) that non-egalitarian organizations 
such as your church often suffer when progressive movements gain power.  Is 
that a potential concern?  My assumption is that there are enough shared 
community concerns among even such divergent organizations that we might 
find common ground, and room to differ, without substantially harming each 
other.  Is that an assumption we share?

Casting my bread on the waters,

Melynda Huskey




"The things that make us happy make us wise."  John Crowley


_________________________________________________________________
Add photos to your messages with MSN 8. Get 2 months FREE*. 
http://join.msn.com/?page=features/featuredemail