Forward from a Boise friend: The Grinches Are Here! (Happy Holidays anyway!)

["Linda Pall" <lpall@moscow.com>]

Subject: Re: FW: The Grinches
 





> The American people liked Christmas a lot
> But the Federal Government clearly did NOT!
> The feds hated Christmas! They did -- every one!
> They hated the chaos, the crowds and the fun.
> "It's wartime!" they cried. "We have to be wary.
> The prospect of Christmas is simply too scary."
> (For they saw in the season's delightful excesses
> The makings of untold security messes.)
> "Those tourists will come to D.C. on their jaunts
> And want to see all of our usual haunts.
> They'll fly in from places like Flint or Peru
> And expect to see Congress, the Archives, the Zoo.
> "But how to distinguish, amid all the revels,
> The innocent tourists from terrorist devils?
> We've got to be hard-nosed -- too bad if they frown!
> We've got to take action to lock up the town!"
> So those Grinches did issue an edict to close
> All tours of the White House to regular Joes.
> "No visits allowed -- not sooner, not later
> For you never know who is part of al Qaeda."
> This order, however, was only the latest
> Of numerous acts to defeat those who hate us.
> For one Grinch named Ashcroft already had taken
> Draconian steps that left liberals shaken.
> "It's crucial," said he, "to adopt zealous measures
> In order to safeguard our national treasures."
> So he'd rounded up suspects -- and not just a few:
> If your face fit his profile, well, boo-hoo for you.
> But that wasn't all; no, these Grinches had more.
> For they saw in this issue a wide-open door.
> Why, they even made plans, in their fright and their fury,
> To try certain people without any jury!
> And so, under pretext of just being cautious,
> They did things the Founders would surely find nauseous.
> "We've done it," they crooned, "We've killed off their spirit.
> They once loved their freedom, but now they all fear it!"
> "Yes, Christmas is spoiled, and Hanukkah, too.
> But with things as they are, who will dare to say boo?
> For when people are scared, they seize any solution,
> Despite all their laws and their old Constitution."
> But we know the rest; sure, we've all read our Seuss.
> We know that our people won't brook such abuse.
> We know they'll give voice to their freedom of speech
> And cry out their demand: equal justice for each.
> And the Grinches, of course, will take heed and reform.
> Their cold little hearts will grow ample and warm.
> For that's how it works in a holiday tale:
> The world's finer nature will always prevail.
> But there we'd be wrong, for in this case, alas,
> The heartwarming ending may not come to pass.
> The American people, it seems, quite approve!
> The polls show support for each Grinch-worthy move.
> So the Grinches have triumphed! The '50s are back!
> And here's what we've learned from this terror attack:
> That life is no kid's book with uplifting plot;
> Our freedoms are precious -- except when they're not.
> -- Gary Krist is a Washington writer. His latest novel is "Chaos
> Theory"

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