> ...and now for something completely different...
>
>I received the following today, and just thought everyone should have a
>copy.
>
>We now return you to your regular programing...
>Jerry
>
>
>Guide to Enlightenment
>
>1. Be a Fundamentalist - make sure the Fun always comes before the
>mental. Realize that life is a situation comedy that will never be
>canceled. A laugh track has been provided, and the reason why we are put in
>the material world is to get more material. Have a good laugh twice a day,
>and that will ensure regular hilarity.
>
>2. Remember that each of us has been given a special gift, just for
>entering - so you are already a winner!
>
>3. The most powerful tool on the planet today is Tell-A-Vision. That
>is where I tell a vision to you, and you tell a vision to me. That way,
>if we don't like the programming we're getting, we can simply change
>the channel.
>
>4. Life is like photography. you use the negative to develop. And, no
>matter what adversity you face, be reassured: Of course God loves you.
He's
>just not ready to make a commitment.
>
>5. It is true. As we go through life thinking heavy thoughts, thought
>particles tend to get caught between the ears, causing a condition
>called truth decay. So be sure to use mental floss twice a day. And
>when you're tempted to practice tantrum yoga, remember what we teach in
>Swami's Absurdiveness Training class: "Don't get even, get odd."
>
>6. If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments and truly
>live like nomads. That's where I no mad at you, you no mad at me. That way,
>there'll surely be nomadness on the planet. And peace begins with each of
>us. A little peace here, a little peace there, pretty soon all the peaces
>will fit together to make one big peace everywhere.
>
>7. I know great changes have been predicted for the future, so if
>you're looking to avoid earthquakes, my advice is simple: When you
>find a fault, just don't dwell on it.
>
>8. There's no need to change the world. All we have to do is toilet
>train.
>
>9. If you're looking to find the key to the Universe, I have some bad
>news and some good news. The bad news is - there is no key to the
>Universe. The good news is - it has been left unlocked.
>
>10. Finally, everything I have told you is channeled. That way, if you
>don't like it, it's not my fault. And remember, enlightenment is not a
>bureaucracy. So we don't have to go through channels.
>
>